obsession.

2010-09-27T17:15:00.002+08:00

gong gong just passed away this afternoon, was awaken abruptly but he wasn't talking already when i got to next door...

got to do up some work before 8, when his body will be back for the funeral.

sometimes it isn't good being too rational.

2010-05-20T19:10:00.003+08:00

Death

it's quite disturbing for me to search for pets cremation services; because death, is a taboo issue - personal fable and the period of attainments for us, makes it so.

it starts to get scary when i'm home alone, because it leaves time to think, about the inevitable.

Hazel's sleeping most of the time, and she sleeps while falling on the ground.
she never gets a good sleep because she'll be up gasping for air after sometime.
though it makes me wonder if i've been a good owner,
it struck me that her situation now is all my fault.

i checked her gums and they were purple - not a very good sign. because oxygen is not circulated properly. and her tongue gets purple at times.
when she wakes up at a sudden gasping for air, i always try to call her name loud to get her back, because i'm afraid she might just leave.

Mocha just had her surgery done, and yes, those were cancer tumors. means they'll be in the future, if unfortunate. again, yes it's my fault, for dragging her sterilisation op for so damn long, until she's 8years old. she's not eating much, and that can be a potential problem; according to the vet. so i'm just feeding her all the treats now so she can be happy and eat.

well, thats not all.

it's bad news for my grandfather. stage 4 of lung cancer, and no, he doesn't know that he has less than (some time) to live. well, i have not treated him nicely after some events and no i don't know how to express concern.

i haven't dealt with death in my, coming 22 years, and
it's scary to be home, alone.
i just want to get out.

why do we look back at the past,
wishing we could relive those memories,
instead of doing something constructive,
we live day by day, dreaming of striking it big.
yet, to those whose time are near,
sadly, a future may seem impossible,
and i wonder how they could embrace the fact,
or even choose to face it, without fear.

2010-05-18T13:17:00.000+08:00

mocha's got cancer? boo.

2010-05-05T00:05:00.001+08:00

mocha's turn; surgery next week......

hazel's heart getting bad; she's having seizures ):

so insecure =/

2010-03-11T01:35:00.002+08:00

lesson learnt; never put in all when making a new friend, some of them are never worth it.

wheelchair for hazel, maybe?

my head hurts, sleep for 16hours. HAHAHA. life's good.

2010-03-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

my dear hazel is getting senile ):

2010-02-10T02:29:00.002+08:00

it's a bad bad day.

not a good one when;

1) i brushed into a motorcyclist when i was traveling at about 90km/h (i was damn lucky shite i didnt crash into him);
2) my new haircut sucks;
3)i scratched two cars at thomson road, and one of which was an idiot screaming. (ps, i wouldn't have scratched anything if she was more thoughtful. rich people, tsk. or perhaps pretending to be one.)
4) the night ended badly; and i didn't managed to get my dream plant/vase combi.

alright.
potato chips and soft drinks helps in de-stress.

2010-01-09T10:15:00.002+08:00

just back from the doc's; sick.
sounds normal as winnie gets sick every 3months.
flu,fever,sore throat and phlegm; so standard, but this time my wisdom tooth's swollen and it hurts just as bad i can't tell the pain apart from the sore throat.
at least i could tell that i had fever, was busy sleeping and sponging myself last night o.o

anyway, my main motive to the doc's wasn't this.

HAHAHA.

blood test indicated;
high cholesterol,
extremely-high ALT level for liver,
and some other la, including parasites in body after eating too much raw food (i still love oysters though); so blood test only after i'm well, doc says.

which means, probably no tennis tonight.
then i'll prob not fetch my brother from the airport too.

i wanna eat and sleep, now.

sponge me, please; it's been a long time.

2009-12-30T01:40:00.002+08:00

body checkup today.

200 for threadmill stress run (was damn scared lah, stupid fall last year).
280 for the ultrasound scan.
120 for the consultation.
100 for the blood and urine test.
7 for the medication (CHEAPEST, HAHAHA)

okay dokes, time for wait for one week before blood test and urine test results will be out.

and the mystery was unveiled;

heartaches due to prolapse valve ):
might be similiar to my ahma's.
meaning, no strenous exercise; avoid secondhand smoke and alcohol and caffeine, if possible.

ohwell.

2009-12-28T07:37:00.001+08:00

merry christmas,
and;
a happy new year.

one year older soon.
AHHHHH.

i've rashes on my fingers;
and heartaches, literally.

):

2009-12-15T13:56:00.002+08:00

people like you are thought=fusion bastards,

and some people just uses others name for their own benefits;

all of you. die soon please.

and i've discovered; tada!

RW = narcissistic
ST = histrionic

wait, i think both can belong to the latter.

on a lighter note. my eye's swollen. !@#$%@#&* some bloody insect bit it i think.

and i'm suspected of having chronic fatigue syndrome.
HAHAHAHA.

2009-11-07T18:13:00.001+08:00

down with fever.
and medicine makes one find serenity in self.

and i have a massive craving for yong tau foo now.
like the one in ngeeann's canteen ):

2009-10-23T16:27:00.001+08:00

i woke up and my mum's hospitalized.
3 family members hospitalized this month.

babababa, maybe next's me?

HAHA.

2009-10-23T03:11:00.003+08:00

closure (:

i don't wanna do this no more.

butttttttttttttt,

my cramps hurt like mad.
can i not bring hazel to vet??

daaaaaaaarmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

wah!i really think you're fucked up, with that face -.-

random shite.
i'm feeling grumpyyyyy.

you can never say never.

2009-10-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

this is demoralizing.
same day for two. i think i should give up one. -.-

i slept for 10hours last night.
still tired.

):

2009-10-21T18:39:00.001+08:00

拼命的上网
闷坏的胸口让我
想大声的呐喊

我努力不放
你冷淡你让分手就这样
我连做梦也感觉受伤

一年过了还是一天
计算着慌张
计程车上的音响
我们最爱的情歌
这一刻却重重击破思念的心脏

夜深了我怎么办
寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变的好复杂
想她念她恨她

一个人你害怕吗
细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开
多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
心放空了寂寞好了

坚强外表下
我脆弱情人节开始失常
别人庆祝我却很失落

秋天过了冬天漫长
欢愉而感伤
我们天真的勇敢
我们追求的梦想
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光

夜深了我怎么办
寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变的好复杂
想她念她恨她

一个人你害怕吗
细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开
多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
心放空了寂寞好了

寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜伤多痛都释放

夜深了我怎么办
寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变的好复杂
想她念她恨她

一个人你害怕吗
细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开
多假多假多假
让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
没有你
心放空了
寂寞好了

2009-10-15T04:50:00.003+08:00

recieved complaints that i'm not updating.
uh huh...
got paper cut by ikea's measuring paper today -.-

been gaining weight and sleeping later.

and both grandparents are in hospital. sigh.

i wanna shite and sleep. so rhythm-y. LOL.

oh, and i need a new bed!

2009-09-29T12:20:00.001+08:00

toilets' done.
and i'm back home.
everything's dusty ):

its easy to see; but its disappointing.

tsk.

2009-09-11T20:01:00.001+08:00

say hi to a whole new world (:

2009-08-14T16:20:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhh!

so many things to do
and so many things to remember.

birthday is coming.
not really looking forward to it.

i am tired.
i need sleep.
but i dont have enough time.
and i need to catch up with some friends soon.
and leave the others alone.

i shaved hazel cos i think she's really hot with all the fur.

mahjong soon anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i need practice!

as usual,
i'm trying to run away.
and i'll keep the words in my mind,
somewhere no one will ever know.

2009-08-14T16:08:00.004+08:00

I

REALLY

REALLY

REALLY

REALLY

HATE

YOU

PEOPLE

hypocrites.

2009-08-01T21:38:00.003+08:00

i don't like.
my birthday is coming.
a sign of aging.
and.
my health sucks.

2009-07-25T07:49:00.000+08:00

run.

baby.

run.

2009-07-24T17:51:00.002+08:00

i don't mind if the whole world blames me.
or i'll die just to stop all this.

pls stop. involving people who are out of this picture.
and i hope. noone gets hurt.

this is getting nowhere.
and.

i feel pathetic for you.

and myself;
that i can't even trust me.

my voice's changed from the coughing ugh.

2009-07-20T03:11:00.002+08:00

i would just keep typing and typing...................

and if only someone would understand.

or if only i could find someone i trust to do so.

im just too used in seeing all these happen. and knowing the reasons behind.
yet still it seems that there's nothing could be done.
and it sucks.

but then again, not all things need an explanation.
and somehow.

somehow.
i will.

2009-07-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

i realised i don't have much friends -.-

anyway.
dogs to the vet today.
going back tml to take blood test and canned food.

and i was sick two times for the past 1 month.
zzz.

and i feel like playing pool again.
because i bumped into the national coach the other day. boooo.

and i need new contacts soon, getting blur.

new tshirts.

sleepy.

2009-06-24T06:23:00.003+08:00

and i feel that 24hours is never enough.
and sleeping is a waste of time.
and dreams are so scary they consume my mind.

i'm tired but i don't wanna sleep.
because every day is just another cycle.

and i'm running away from what i should face.
make it or break it, because it's killing me slowly.

and there's an evil in my mind.
that reflects the bad side of me.

and i'm sick that life isn't a turn-back clock,
and i hate that i might regret things that i have never done.
not all things are worth it.

the brush that made me jump.

2009-06-20T04:29:00.003+08:00

no i can't sleep even after having my medicine.

and my nose is always 1/2 blocked, so i can't really breathe properly or taste food properly. my throat is still inflamed. on a happier note, being sick made me slim down, a little.

and so i'll probably take another dosage of the cough syrup after this so i can retreat to bed for the night/morning.

its hard when i don't even understand myself;
and its just another vulnerable night;
where songs alone, made me teared.

2009-06-20T04:18:00.002+08:00

great. i left home this afternoon at 3pm and missed the shut down button on the laptop; so it has been running for over 12hours.

had a haircut today.

then went to buy fathers' day present.

went to play L4D.

went to watch 2 movies; i love you man and blood vampire.

went for supper.

came home, like finally.

i hate unfinished work.
and a lot of other stuff.

internal conflict, is. detrimental.

period.

2009-05-23T23:19:00.002+08:00

my bro friends are over to celebrate in birthday (which was yesterday)
and there are alot of peopleeeeeeee.
not alot exactly, but enough to make me retreat to my room, sit in front of my laptop, and start surfing websites.

and then i went back to friendster to have a look.
realised that there are many people that i have not been talking to since, maybe primary sch to secondary. and some poly friends.
gee. i admit i'm not a very 'mushy' person or a 'bestie' and i'm always straightforward with those i like or don't.
(don't be mistaken that i don't like you if i haven't been talking to you)
hahahahah.
just that, we live on our lives doing other stuffs that we always neglect those that we've met earlier on. and its hard to catch up; unless everyone's willing to and have the time to.

and............
back to surfing websites.
because i express myself better online. don't ya agree? ;)

AHHHH.
and they're still making alot of noise in the living room that my wma doesn't help at all.
i need help.

2009-05-17T16:18:00.003+08:00

been long since i've updated. hahahaha.
brought hazel to the vet; saw the ultrasound. coool. and she's still coping well...
and i've been doing nothing lately.makes me darn bored at home.

anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy.
i can't wait for the last weekend of this month :D

oh and a nice song i chanced on during driving.
read the lyrics properly, cos it makes so much sense it rocked my car every single time.

You told me
there’s no need
To talk it out
Cause its too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words and walked away

No looking back
I wont regret, no
I will find my way
I’m broken
But still I have to say

It’s Alright, OK
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry
Alright, OK
So don’t you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I’m stronger now
Alright , OK
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your love was nothing but a game
Portrait a role
You took control, I
I couldn’t help but fall
So deep
But now I see things clear

It’s Alright, OK
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry
Alright, OK
So don’t you bother what I do
No matter what you say
I wont return
Our bridge has burned down
I’m stronger now
Alright , OK
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry

Don’t waste your fiction tears on me
Just save them for someone in need
It’s way too late
I’m closing the door

2009-04-08T22:55:00.002+08:00

the person whom i o$p$ said i havent been updating.
haha.
sorry eh. never go out today also so haven transferrrrr. wont run away laaa. hahaha.

my sandflies bites are getting better, not itchy..but seem to be leaving some marks behind.
gee.

and uh.
this is my 3rd day cooped up at home.

so lifeless.

cant sleep and too much sleeping.
cant sleep because i've been sleeping too much.
too much because i'm depending on the drowsy med to make me sleep.

sleeping unusually long are prone to die earlier.
GEEEEEEE.

2009-03-25T22:49:00.002+08:00

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks.

haven been updating.

caught chun-li and dragonball movies. seriously i have no interest in these. lol. ohwell.
my childhood was more of power rangers. hahaha.

i just had diarrhea -.-
most prob cos of the steamboat the other night.

oh oh.
and its almost april already.
gee.
its scary.

2009-03-09T14:29:00.001+08:00

its been a longggggggggggggggggggggggggg time. boooo.

i wanna see the dentist soon.

2009-02-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

she hates herself for being stupid.

): ): ): ):

sighs.

i want my new babies nowwwwwwwwwwwwww.

uh
http:////i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu28/hey_lulu/heyluluicon.gif

2009-02-03T02:34:00.003+08:00

ahhhh i cant believe it's feb already.
so fast it gets scary.
hmm.
some sleeping disorder i have which makes me sleepy despite sleeping too much. and i feel like i'm gonna get sick soon. -_______-
and so many things going through my head at the same time. booo.
concentrate concentrate concentrate.

you'vejustbecametheuglierbitchfromwhichipreviouslyknown.

2009-01-26T23:06:00.003+08:00

idiot.
that's for being an asshole to myself.

think for you and yourself only winnie, like how others do for themselves all the time.

happy new year.

2009-01-26T15:57:00.000+08:00

Dragon

It's a tough year. Three big lucky stars are hanging over you but lots of small unlucky stars are around you, too. Double your efforts to ward off negative elements and you'll achieve success. With a strong will and hard work, you'll have a great year.

Career: With strong lucky stars smiling on you, you'll have success in elections, exams and promotions. However, matters involving documents and contracts may lend you in trouble. Beware of rumours and gossip-mongers.

Love life: The single Dragon will be lonely most of the time. The married Dragon is likely to spend nights alone as your spouse is often away.

Health: You cannot sleep well at night. During the day, you cannot concentrate on your work. Make sure you have ample rest.

Take note: You're vulnerable to accidents this year, so be alert.

2009-01-20T02:59:00.004+08:00

cc bills are scary. now i know how people end up in debts.
gee.

and i'm spending more money. zzz.
my nose feels weird recently and my head hurts. hmm. visit to the doc soon i hope.
and tdy marks the 1year anni that we came back from china. how greattttttttttttttt.

i think i'm pms-ing, seriously.

2009-01-15T14:44:00.005+08:00

update for hazel~~~~~

before the op.

after the op.

the next day; back to clinic for drip.

STICHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

and the ENORMOUS womb infection.

OH and and and; the fellow below is trying to be a boss while hazel's away HAHAHAH

(: (: thank God everything's fine.
and i'll remember my promise to Him.

and thanks to everyone.
and you; for being there. (:

2009-01-12T11:52:00.002+08:00

i just brought hazel to the vet.
blood test results werent good.
she's anemic; liver's value up; white blood cells' high (infection); heart's not good.
thats the factors for us to know.
and she's undergoing surgery later.
i know she'll make it.
and after surgery they have to stablise her liver and all.
and i know she can cope with the stress.
because; that's hazel.

and she looked damn sad when i was walking away from her in the clinic;
when she's on drip.
and when she's having several injections.
she looked as though she longed for me.

i'm sorry.

pray. i'll still be able to see her tonight when i'm back.
pray. that she'll be strong and make it.
pray.

2009-01-10T01:22:00.004+08:00

Ngee Ann's mistake.hmm.

Hi Ray,

Winnie here; ex student of Chinese Studies. Recently I discovered that the academic transcript that was given to me has a spelling error under Study Semester 6, where 'Philosophy' is spelt as "philosphy". Is there any ways to get a reprint of the transcript?

Thanks,
Winnie
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Winnie
I will check with NP Exam Section whether a reprint is possible.

Regards
Peng Wah

okay.new transcript. so cool.

2009-01-09T23:52:00.002+08:00

going for a surgery on monday/tuesday.
for those who wants to see her, better do it soon.
although i'm trying to be optimistic, the risks are there because of her heart and liver.
and my mum was telling her to make it through so she could give her a red packet for the chinese new year.

Virgo Character Traits
T

he symbol for Virgo is the sheaf of corn. You are hard-working and carry out your duties efficiently and conscientiously.

'I ANALYSE' is the motto for Virgo. You have an eye for detail and a discriminating mind. You like order in all things and are neat, clean and precise in your habits.

You are modest and don't like to draw attention to yourself. Where others seek the limelight, you get quietly on with the job, doing it as well as you can. You get a lot of satisfaction from making yourself useful and enjoy being of service to others.

Outwardly you are cool, although inside you may be seething with nerves. You have a sensitive digestion and you're careful about what you eat and drink.

You can also be overcritical and have a tendency to worry too much.

You are the perfectionists of the zodiac.

it's deeper;
and i hope it's a good thing.

2009-01-08T14:04:00.002+08:00

i dreamt my tooth came out.
and it denotes an illness; or death.

i brought hazel to the vet today.
pls help pray; for her to overcome the worst.

too much of a tough front
when it crumbles real bad inside.

2009-01-07T06:19:00.001+08:00

i talked alot today.
and i'm sick of the weird time clock my body is getting used to.

booo.
time flies.

2009-01-04T03:46:00.002+08:00

i woke up at 2 today!
sleepinggg's goood.
hahah.
but my eyebags are still prominent.

anyway.
i forgo the idea of bringing my furkids to west coast park.
instead, i brought them down for a walk.
and poor hazel's panting alot.
and guess what, she's not eating and she puked.
damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
and she's breathing really hard. ):

bathed them before grooming them.
i thought hazel might be hot with her thick fur so i shaved her down.
and i had carls jr. for dinner.

hmmm.

think hard.

2009-01-02T02:27:00.002+08:00

first day of 2009.
it made me scared; too fast.

and everything getting me stirred.

woke up at 5 today.
i must say the first day's weather's pretty good.
slacked. had my one and only meal for the day.

wanted to go out for a jog; to get away.
but then again. i'm scared of you-know-what. and i think my cramps will make me even more vulnerable. hahahahah.

I'd really need a hot,long bath now.

fuck them all.

2008-12-31T02:51:00.002+08:00

last year's christmas and new year's in China.
now it feels weird, like something's missing.
or i don't know how to go about doing it.
oh well.
tmr's last day of 2008.
damn damn damn.
so much of procrastinating.

okay. and that's the thing.
alot of stuff for me to clear up/do.
exchange stuff.
find a job or study.and etc etc. zzz.

i hate myself from running away.

say YES!

2008-12-28T05:41:00.000+08:00

bedtime stories.
transporter 3.

steamboat was fattening.
life's depressing as year's coming to an end.
HAHAHA. i don't know what to study.

too tired.

and a lil hungry...

2008-12-23T02:41:00.002+08:00

its almost 3 but it feels like 5.
tiring.
been out for 15hours ZZ. and it has been a very loooooooooong time since i took mrt all the way to eunos.
phew.

was dying of starvation before the buffet at sakae sushi; which, after that i could feel my stomach bursting. hahahahah.

i need my noodle and bed now.

2008-12-22T03:31:00.001+08:00

my calves hurt.
zzz.
too much walking, literally.

and i was having motion sickness on the damn bus home from town.

27kilometres.

2008-12-21T05:08:00.000+08:00

booooo.
its coming to an end.
stupid '08.

too complicated.
TSK.

2008-12-18T17:44:00.004+08:00

hmm.
christmas is coming.
and no, not looking forward to.

i've been a good girl for the past year(IMO),
i gave; i took; been nice; been kind; and the list goes on... ... ... ...

i would want lots of moneyyyyyyyyyyy so i won't have to work. w-o-r-k freaks me out.
so i can buy lots of stuff that i want and go around the world splurging.
and i hope santa would be kind to me in this coming year.

too much thoughts as it clears.
too much (ok i can't think of THAT word now, damn.)

as i try stand up again.

2008-12-17T01:12:00.001+08:00

i skipped my medication for 3days.
was supposed to complete course.

i need to stop.

2008-12-13T03:53:00.001+08:00

not when I'm tired and sick;
my patience runs even shorter.

i drank 15ml of cough syrup; 3times the amount I'm supposed to take.
and all i wanna do now is sleep.

2008-12-11T22:41:00.002+08:00

there's a throbbing pain in my head.
and my freaking limbs are cold.
oh, and an everlasting sore throat.
now i don't feel like going out.

fuck it.

2008-12-11T02:30:00.002+08:00

things are not going right.
lost my badges.
can't find the book.
cc statement has discrepancy.
won't be having the car to drive tomorrow.
my throat hurts and I'm coughing my lungs out.
anymore?

and a stupid baby cockroach crawled up my calf just now -.-

counting down.

2008-12-08T19:39:00.003+08:00

2plus hours of sleeping.
includes all the things that I've dreamed of.
and i woke up; lost and teared. -.-
wtf. stupid weather.

As with most common dream themes, falling is an indication of insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties.Falling dreams also often reflect a sense of failure or inferiority in some circumstance or situation. You feel shameful and lack a sense of pride.

To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life.

To dream that people or objects are disappearing right before your eyes, signifies your anxiety and insecurities over the notion that loved ones might disappear out of your life. You may feel that you cannot depend on someone and feel that you are alone and inadequate. You need to work on your self-image and self-esteem.

To see an escalator in your dream, indicates movement between various levels of consciousness. If you are moving up in the escalator, then it suggests that you are addressing and confronting emotional issues. You are moving through your spiritual journey with great progress and ease.

To dream that you are scared, indicates that you are experiencing self-doubt and feelings of incompetence in your waking life. You may be feeling a lack of control.

To dream of the internet, signifies your need to communicate with a larger network of people.

To see a toilet in your dream, symbolizes a release of emotions or getting rid of something in your life that is useless.

To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success.

hmmm.

2008-12-07T21:50:00.001+08:00

sleep sleep sleep.
and the day passes damn fast.

ZZZ.
i don't even feel like eating..

trying too hard.

2008-12-05T20:12:00.005+08:00

i had likee 5 dreams yday.
and i kept waking up; in an hour's interval.
so surreal. zzz.

was dreading for class and yeah. test.
hmm.

i feel like i've alot of phlegm stuck in my chest.
and i'm home alone.
blah.
and i've got diarrhea. -.- must be the bbq food yday.
and the maggi mee i cooked sucks.

at peace today.

2008-12-04T23:39:00.011+08:00

today's been a long long day.

brought hazel to the vet at 9+ this morning.
waited till 10+ for my turn.
hmm got in. took blood for test.
waited.
consultation with doctor.
everything ended at 12plus.
hmm.
now she's taking antibiotics. and i have to report to the vet every week about her -.-

got home. rushed. brought hazel and mocha down to class.
they were in the cage watching me scissoring.
haha.
that felt weird. and i wasn't focused at all.
and it didn't help that that coffee was fidgety and, best. it bit me. zzz.

gave mocha a bath.
bandannas. got down to changi sailing club.
uh i lost my way. hahah. was signaling for another classmate to take over me
but she didnt -.-
so we ended up at changi airport.
hmm.
but we got there at 630.

good.
then it was cam whoring session -.-
1st bbq that i didn't had to do the bbq-ing.
uh but mocha's damn unfriendly. growls at all the other dogs. zzz.

i had a beer.sprite. satay. a piece of chicken. and then i was feeding my dogs to eat.
hmm.
i left at 10 after they took a group pic.
and my dogs are tired out. hahahahah.

i just took my drowsy med! and i think i'll be sleeping soon.
totally knock me out i guess; with 3hrs of sleep and 18hours of running about.

gee.
now i've to upload photos and send to people!

sleep early.

thats her at the vet's.

us at bbq(:

2008-12-04T01:07:00.003+08:00

twists and turns.
now i pray for hazel to be fine.
and er, mount pleasant's night emergency's frigging expensive.

i didn't realized i was drowsy when i droved to the hospital.
until i was sitting down inside. and i felt light-headed. giddy.
zzz.

tmr's gonna be a busy day.
vet. class. gathering. and I'd really wanna bring hazel there, to have fun.
and my med is not helping at all.

uhyer. let everything be fine please.
i can't think now.

i guess it just boils down to myself, alone.

2008-12-03T13:25:00.009+08:00

and now my throat hurts.
throbbing pain.
good game.

cooool.i was standing at my balcony.
gee and the wind smelled familiar;
when i was young,
and carefree.
and when everything was simple.
p/s thats for staying home like, forever. zzz.

because i could never cope with; another runaway.
but i drive myself crazy; thinking of you.
and i know i will; from this moment.

2008-12-02T17:08:00.005+08:00

i can't believe i slept from 11 to 5.
the med rocks.
and i'm going back to bed because its raining.
and my tongue taste bitter.
hmmmm.

you would place me below.
i would place you above.

2008-12-02T03:05:00.001+08:00

a proper post after so long.
went to the doc's today.
gee.
selected words. triggered. asthma background. smoker cough. spasm. phlegm. blocked nose. zzz.
now i've 4 medications to take and one's keeping me real drowsy.
not a bad thing though.

and hmm. im dreading tml to come...

2008-12-01T02:06:00.001+08:00

if only
i could express.

if only
i could hold a candle to you.

my insecurities.

2008-11-29T21:50:00.002+08:00

as usual, its the emptiness after all the noise, that kills.

2008-11-29T16:19:00.004+08:00

8hrs.
uh. lunar's yue's a blast.
and next's gonna be at LV.
oh well.

maybe i should start living for myself.
and stop placing people before me.

2008-11-28T01:09:00.005+08:00

uh. night jog around my neighbourhood.
almost 2.4km i think; 30mins.
ran down west coast green; 2rounds park; back to my place; further down; round a few blocks; round carpark and hmmm. some bangalas were scaring the freak out of me -.-
HAHAHAHAH

uhyer.
tml's gathering in lunar vip room with my mum and all.
dont know who'll be turning up.
but uh. time to enjoy.
and i get to choose my christmas presents from parents and uncle.
wheee.
time to window shopppppp!

2008-11-26T12:49:00.002+08:00

if i were to slow down my speed, i realised, i'll get thinking that ends up bad.

2008-11-26T01:26:00.003+08:00

i've been having big cravings and appetites.
and i just cant stop eating.
wtf?

can i trust you? or you?

2008-11-24T23:03:00.004+08:00

laid back day.

too much haste in my life for me to enjoy simple things, like this.

bam.

2008-11-24T02:20:00.000+08:00

its freaking cold and i couldnt sleep.
zzz.

someone to stay.

doesnt have to be.

2008-11-23T18:14:00.005+08:00

2008-11-22T04:14:00.002+08:00

2008-11-20T19:06:00.003+08:00

dreams again.
people chasing me. ngee ann. jin tai. uh. a group of us stoled something. ran around in this shopping centre that i dreamt of many times.

and i woke up late.

-.-

2008-11-20T01:17:00.002+08:00

boo.
exercising makes me ache all over.

ah. i think i'm a loner.
uh yer.
and i think I'm just gonna get more nightmares.

2008-11-19T14:14:00.006+08:00

please interpret my dream about. running. guns. shooting. killing. gangs. pens. cassette tapes. security guards. hiding.

my gum hurts and i think my face's alil swollen.

2008-11-17T15:22:00.002+08:00

i swear i wanted to ask the nurse if she had enough by the 3rd test tube of blood -.-
and i feel liberated.
come cow come cow come~~~~

my body's aching from yday's bball.
and i just bought many snacks from daiso to make it up to my body(:

i shrank in height.
and gained in weight.
depressing.

2008-11-13T02:21:00.003+08:00

at certain points in my life, mm...probably now and then;
the inferiority within me kicks me down.

okay. 08's gonna be over! damned. too fast. too much. no time.
and uh. i'm gonna grow older; and i'll need to go work. which i totally hateeeeee!
responsibility comes with age. GEE. i can't believe i just said that.

my head hurts. constantly. please don't let it be the coming back of migraine. i hate popping ponstan.

not just another pawn, please.
oh yeah.it just kicked me down.

OH.
anyway i'm completing my grooming class alrd! dogs anyone? or frens with dogs? i'm charging cheaper to gain experience! drop me a msggg (:

2008-11-11T00:27:00.001+08:00

i downloaded the song.
and i always thought it was
MAKE LOVE RIGHT NA NA NA -.- CHEH.
but it really sounded like that over the radio zzz.

It's been so long
that I haven't seen your face
I'm Tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away
it wont be long before i get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you what's been on my mind

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

Girl I know, mistakes were made between us two
And we show our selfs that night even said somethings weren't true
why'd you go and haven't seen my girl since then
why can't it be the way it was
cause you were my only lover and friend

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na na
we need to link up right now na na

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Till i get you back I'm gonna Try
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much

I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine with me
One that would grind with me

I wanna make up right now na na
I wanna make up right now na na
Wish we never broke up right now na

2008-11-07T18:01:00.000+08:00

i just discovered a phobia of mine.
and
i just realised a have another phobia.

不值得。

2008-11-05T02:00:00.002+08:00

uh.
bad day.
for everyone la uh.

hmm.
i am so tired.
my room's in a mess and half of my things' are in the living room.
room looks weird in the new colour.
and they'll be coming in at 9 to paint another colour.
ZZZ.

and i swear
some people are just gonna get fucked by me.

2008-11-04T03:11:00.002+08:00

i saw a dead cat along my way home.
it was on the rightest lane.
urgh.
i u-turned back to where it was.
got down and stared at it.
damn
its eyes were still openedddddddddddd
and the tongue was sticking out):
it took me abt 10mins to decide to move it to the roadside.
first time handling a dead animal.
anddddd
i was damn scared it will suddenly jump to me if its not dead.
ZZZZ
i used two plastic bags to move it to the roadside
and i swear the 2bangalas who cycled past; the few taxi uncles and drivers who slowed down to kpo since i was the the right lane; thought i was the one who knocked it over ; because they gave me that look. -.-
oh, and u can imagine how many times i used the dettol hand sanitizer after that.

totally.
not nice.

2008-11-03T01:30:00.002+08:00

i havent woke up this late for ages.
deep sleep was good. dreams were fine.
uh, and there was this deja vu feeling when i was standing at my corridor.
the smell of wind.
the sights.

and i was lazy to get my ass out the house.
continued sleeping til 9+ in the night.

and tml's gonna be disrupted by painting work in the house.
argh.

so long.

2008-11-02T06:48:00.002+08:00

just got homeee.
hmm. 3rd time clubbing this week; including sunday that is.
dblo was crowded.wrong crowd-.-
supper along 7-11; cup noodles and hashbrowns.
this is fcuking fattening.
and i need my sleep now.
finally.

a dog erected in front of me today.
randomness.

2008-11-01T03:48:00.002+08:00

jus got home.
and i realised my bedroom's toilet has heater somewhere. awesome.
because my bro had to fight to bathe with me at such unearthly hour.
i didnt knew sg was so happening...with halloween. haha cool outfits along clarke quay man.

hmm.
maybe nxt year i'll go some costumes. lol
all i wanna do now is lose some fats.
after a jap dinner meal and mac supper plus dessert?
damnit.

2008-10-30T17:40:00.003+08:00

i'n binging on chocolates and i'm sick of them already.
lack of sleep the past few days.
and uh. my living room's aircon now.
so mahjong sessions people. hahahahahh.

yday was awaken by drilling sounds.
had to go down to bukit merah.
then went down to bugis.
and ps. cathy.
burn after reading was a .. stupid show.
and uh
shopping at mustafa was an .. extraordinary experience.
mmm. but the super long day was good.

顽皮鬼.

2008-10-29T01:50:00.002+08:00

ugh. construction people are coming down tomorrow to do the kitchen door.
fill the wall.
and prob repaint; or by thurs that is.
IN THE MORNING!?
when i don't have to wake up early.
idiott.

and my room's infested with mosquitoes. out of nowhere.
i got like over 15bites alrdy.
its irritating.

and uh.
i'm tired after supper.

goodnights.

2008-10-27T05:52:00.003+08:00

uh jus got home and i'm blogging becuZ my bro's bathing. zzzz.
bad headache. and my heart's pumping fast.
supper was good.
uh. club's nice. except for the drunkard scene again.
ahahah.

fuck la, i jus got my weekly allowance today and i spent half alrdy.
ZZZ.

ok.
i canot face the comp screen anymore.

2008-10-26T19:19:00.002+08:00

i woke up at 4pm today!
zzz.
sleep's good.
but my fond's isnt.
have to keep restarting the damn thing.
ugggh.

ydae had stomachache and flu in the day.
cldnt even taste my food lor. after that i went home for a nice nap.
anyway ydae was night's out at night safari.
after that had supper at newton's before heading down to cine for movie at 230am
high school musical 3. hmm. i nearly fell asleep uh.
then i was reminded of the times i was swooning over zac efron in china room 205; with my beloved roomates. haha but somehow he looks different now uh. zzz.
nolove alrd.

and uh.
slept at 7 this morning. fell asleep to be exact.

hmm. everyone's out.
i guess i shall be getting out soon too.

2008-10-25T15:50:00.002+08:00

ydae met the girls at ps.
uh. then i went for movie; the coffin. not scaryyyy.
and some typical ahlian was munching and talking so loud behind. idiot.

anyway. my stomach hurtssssssssssssssss.
and it feels like i'm gonna get sick soon.
need a long long rest...i reckon.

its kinda a torture watching people get drunk when u're super sober.
zzz.

i wanna grab sleep.

2008-10-23T00:50:00.002+08:00

i can imagine already.

2008-10-22T14:10:00.002+08:00

gee.i've got 3660smses sent last month.
bill's high ):
gotta switch to starhub soon coz m1 doesnt fulfill my needs. hahahahah.

uh, heavy rain makes good sleeping time(:

sorry.

2008-10-21T01:10:00.006+08:00

caught nights in rodanthe. rodan-the. lol
show was pretty slow and boring. until a point; i teared. ZZZ.
took a long bus ride home.
slow and emo. lucky i decided to not drive rather last minuty so i didnt get to upload much emo songs in my ipod. uhlast long bus ride was...more than a year ago?
and i realised you dont matter already because i wasnt emo over you.
how cool is this!
and i'm smiling inside as i know how everything's gonna turn out.

okayy on another side. i'm sick!
falling sick.
flu and alil sore throat. and i felt sick inside. the kind of i'm-so-gonna-fall-sick-and-i'm-weak-inside feeling.
maybe its coz i'm home sick; sick of being at home or sick while i was home. hmmmm.

letmeremaincool,asicrumbleinside.
breakmeopen;tearmedown,intopieces;brokencrumbsontheground.
babyiwouldtellyoueverytimeyouleave,i'minconsolable.
andidon'tknowhowtobefinewheni'mnot.

ps, emo-ness kills.
so stop being emo, ppl around me!
lets SMILE and be GAY ((((:

sidenote; this song rawks(:

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
As if we could last forever

Love remains the same

2008-10-20T02:49:00.003+08:00

uh.
shisha!
one of my nostrils was stuffed so apparently only smoke came out from the other one.
hahahahh that was funny

tired.
need a rest.
a secret place.

2008-10-19T15:32:00.002+08:00

gee. jus woke up.
tiring these few days and i still havent got enuff sleeeep.
went out for a drink last night. at balcony.
before that was loitering ard ps. and witness some aftermath of a gang fight -.- totally spoiled my mood.
ended up gg dblo to club. and kz and co left with some guys alrdy.
haha idiot. enjoying her stingray TSK.
first time there and found out drinks were damn cheappppp. went in at 3?
had drinks,shot,almost 2lambos and came out before 4.
uh and i dunno why i had to puke everytime i saw this fren. hmmmmm.
club's a waste of moneyyyyyyy.
its a habit to break

.
.
.
.
.
and my wisdom tooth hurts like mad.

2008-10-18T18:42:00.001+08:00

i cut myself 3 times today.
ok that is wrong, by accident.

i sneezed like a thousand times today, so being missed hahah
and my eyes are puffed up!
!@#$$%%^&**

ok i'm super hungry
i need food.

2008-10-16T02:52:00.002+08:00

jus homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.
day began with dinner with m and xt.
slacked ard in town.
before going to tcc and cine.
where we decided to watch an impromptu movie; rocknrolla
where after we went in, sat for 15mins and then left coz s and xb came.
last min but they were pissed we watched movie.
lol so 1st time i walked out of theatre. coooool.
oh the person wanted to check me for m18. am so happy. LOL.

went to slack ard.
before going off at 11+
intend to drop m off but ending up at haji lane.
ate.
fagged.
shisha-ed; 1 each.
got a lil high i reckon. coz i was dancing to turkish music -.-
and i dropped 10bucks on my way home.
and my head hurts now.

zzzz.
ok i wanna go to bed alrd
coz i cant tink wad i wanna type.

2008-10-15T02:32:00.002+08:00

weeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i woke up at 10 when i'm supposed to get out the house at 10!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

and i stayed home all night
omg!
im a friggin good child.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm