Tuesday, May 29, 2007
unlucky.
my complains about being unlucky was ward off by the optimistic side of myself. and then. MORE things happened today that just proves one thing - I AM UNLUCKY. so suay. one after another, oh man. and i'm still plagued with my diarrhea, from food poisoning. diarrhea-ed dunno how many million times alrdy. my ass hurts. LOL. and i vomitted twice in sch tdy.
damn
damn
damn
ok, tml will be a better day.
nites
Monday, May 28, 2007
i think i'm really unlucky. food poisoning. suspected but most likely to be? lethargic the whole day. heart racing, short breath. and the usual, vomitting and diarrhea. shucks, doesn't it? somehow it led me thinking, how my life have been a not-so-smooth one in the past 18+ years. but yet again, i better convince myself on the other side. just pop some med. and i'm going to bed.
new environment tml. new things. new winnie. everything. lets hope for the best.
Friday, May 25, 2007
i can feel relieve, that is for sure. i hope the new arrangements' going to work out for me fine. my confidence's trashed and i gotta get it up and going within these two days.
went for pool. it was... bad. didnt have the mood, or maybe i was just too tired...
i met a lunatic on my way home, on the overhead bridge. he was ranting i don't know what, but he tried to block my road, i walked left and right he doesnt want to let me pass. the nafter that he shouted behind me and spat. i hope he didnt spit onto me though. guess i'm rather down on my luck...
home early on a friday night. gotta need the time to do some self-reflecting and some thinking as well.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
actually wanted to blog during my lunch time today, was back early from lunch with qj. but left about 5mins? the time when i was told that i can do my own stuff, that is, wasnt enough. just went on to do my stuff.
i dont know why. i'm dont even wanna feel like listening to my ipod on my way to work anymore, for fear that a sad song might make me feel worse. and all i wanna do after work is to get home, where i feel secure. and i hate it when i'm alone, like now, quiet and scared, and without an idea whats going to happen.
think positive, always manage to persuade myself once in a while, i got the scoldings i got the nice talks. just feeling mixed now. i hope i can survive the another 3months. 3mths rit? about 100 days? i dont know. its far. and i dont know what will be the outcome of this.
yet, i thank my family and frens who have showed concern, and all, and God.
i shall turn in early. i hate the images and words recurring in my mind. and i'm trying to pull myself together.
Monday, May 21, 2007
just as i thought things will be fine, and i just got a little optimistic about work, things took for a worse turn. i came home crying, it hates to be accused or watsoever, doesnt it?
its been another long time since i've updated. man, i feel lifeless. sheesh.last fri teacher came to visit me at work. it was ok. full of mixed feelings coz i realised many things, how ppl can be two-faced and etc. the good note was aft work met up with jq jx n jv for dinner at tcc. but i guess i was rather down, so sorry peeps...sat and sun was for pool...played pool...just got home and im dreading going to work tml. i hate going to work and pretend i'm happy when i'm not. and yet again, what else could i do? last night was a bad night sleep. had so many dreams, about my work and stuff. it made me feel lost. and i woke up, fearing to the fact that i'm going China soon and how the ***k am i going to survive there. i don't know. today was yet another low day for me.today had driving lesson as well. knocked the pole down. 1st time, that made me worse.i'm kinda bored of stuffs around me. and nth seems to get me up, or maybe 1 or 2...oh well, stop whinning and go to bed. i can't escape all these.
Friday, May 11, 2007
tada! i'm back, at least after feelin much better. lets see, mon n tues was totally hell. fever 40.2. went 24hr clinic in clementi. reckon the doc jus woke up. and i wonder if he knows how to jab. my arse still hurts today. argh. slight fever this morning. lotsa phelgm, makes me breathless, in addition, the flu makes it even worse.i've nothing to do. tv shows are boring me.
Monday, May 7, 2007
sick.
im sick again! rejoice! lol. fever at 38.7 nw. bro's virus most prob. head hurts like shite. i cant breathe. hmmmmm.
there's sth wrong w me tdy. everything i do dere's a voice in me askin if i know what im doing.wtf?
class95's alwaes the remedy. ah.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
so long.
it's been long since i updated!? yeah. work's boring. doing nothing. waiting for time to pass, slowly. and weekends are gone, fast. wth?
my bro's hospitalized, some virus and bacterial infection. i hope it pass to me. so i don't have to go work. ihateit. and the house is so quiet now.
last week pool has been a letdown for me. or maybe, its just me letting down myself. that shucks.
listening to class95. waiting for time to pass while whinning about going to work tml.
oh damn. i've been having suicidal thoughts recently.
